Love song for an alternative lifestyle
Evil criminal masterminds need love too.
SKULLCRUSHER MOUNTAIN
jonathan coulton
welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far,
I see you met my assistant Scarface
his appearance is quite disturbing
but I assure you he’s harmless enough
he’s a sweetheart, calls me master
and he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me
oh and I’m so into you, but I’m
way too smart for you
even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
if you could find some way to be
a little bit less afraid of me
you’d see the voices that control me
from inside my head say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you
but I get the feeling that you don’t like it
what’s with all the screaming?
you like monkeys, you like ponies.
maybe you don’t like monsters so much?
maybe I used too many monkeys
isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?
oh and I’m so into you
but I’m way too smart for you
even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
if you could find some way to be
a little bit less afraid of me
you’d see the voices that control me
from inside my head say I shouldn’t kill you yet
picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
while up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
and all the fools who leave their foolish lives may find it quite…explosive
well it won’t mean half as much to me if I don’t have you here
I know it isn’t easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
so maybe you could cut me just a little slack,
would it kill you to be civil?
I’ve been patient, I’ve been gracious
and this mountain is covered with wolves
hear them howling, my hungry children
maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you
oh and I’m so into you
but I’m way too smart for you
even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
if you could find some way to be
a little bit less afraid of me
you’d see the voices that control me
from inside my head say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet
