Random Thoughts

I hate decisions.

I gotta say, Braxton® and Hicks© must be set for life, inventing those contractions.  Cz apparently most mothers have them now.  They were really thinking ahead, copyrighting them and naming them after themselves so that there could be no doubt as to concept ownership.  Think of the royalties!

©The intellectual property, “Braxton-Hicks Contractions®”, used by permission of Braxton.  And Hicks eventually gave in too, although he wasn’t too keen on the idea at first.

You’ve been longing for it!  You’ve been clamoring for it!  Or maybe the idea of it just crossed your mind once, for a split second, when you were almost asleep one night, many months ago, and you thought you dreamed it, and you haven’t thought about it again since. 

…Well, in any case, the chris86shop is here!

It’s a Zazzle store.  If you have any idea what that means, then good for you, start shopping.  But I suspect none of you will know what that means.  It’s simply one of those online stores, like CafePress, that allows you to customize merchandise and sell it as if you had a store of your own.

I don’t expect to get rich from this, but several people had asked about t-shirts at several different times, so a few months ago I began investigating these sites and picked what I consider to be the best of all of them, in terms of variety of products, quality of products, customizability, and (believe it or not) price.  I’ve only got six products at the moment, but I’ll certainly add more later.

But enough of that, go check it out and snoop around and buy lots of stuff and make it so I don’t have to work anymore. 

Oh… right, I wasn’t planning to get rich.

The link to the store is at the top of each page of my website…on the main page it’s

on Random Thoughts it’s

and on the messageboards it’s

For lots more inside information on the store and how it works, check the messageboards.

Evil criminal masterminds need love too.

SKULLCRUSHER MOUNTAIN
jonathan coulton

welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far,
I see you met my assistant Scarface
his appearance is quite disturbing
but I assure you he’s harmless enough
he’s a sweetheart, calls me master
and he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

Read more »

Pregnant women:  You will find as your pregnancy progresses that you’ll get tired more and more easily and need to take frequent naps.  Frequent, long, meandering, sprawling, day-wasting naps. 

But many of you work until nearly time for the baby to be born.  So unfortunately it would seem that during working hours, anyway, you guys’re stuck staying awake for every one of the mind-numbing, morale-draining eight hours.

But as always, chris86.com is there to give you hope, and to show you how things you didn’t think possible are possible.

If you are pregnant, and at work, and dying for a nap, just follow this simple advice:

Just shut your door and lie down directly on the office floor.

Read more »

“round and around and around and around”
led to Round and around and around and around…

As you would expect

i think my brain is wired wrong
led to My stupid brain II

Ah, a kindred spirit

amastasia boobs
led to The Official Texas Baby Non-birthday Chat Thingy

Ama!  You have a perverted fan!

spy stuff to spy on gierls
led to the Spy Stuff category

Uh…good luck with those gierls.  Your defense to the stalking charges is bound to be brilliant.  I hope I can catch it on Court TV.

Read more »

Now.  I’m going out on a limb here against my better judgment and committing to the whole “daughter” concept.  We’ve had three, three, three different ultrasounds now, and the most recent one was an hour long and in 3D.  And three, three, three different ultrasound technicians have assured us, each time without the least hesitation or doubt, that this kid is a girl.  (Then they all do the whole thing where they point out these alleged ‘girl parts’ with great enthusiasm, and then I get all like, hey, knock it off, that’s my daughter you’re exploiting there on your giant widescreen!  Hey!  Somebody shut that door!)

And they’re all still plenty indistinct as far as I can tell.  I look and I see obscure grainy lines and blobs and I can’t get any sense of scale and it’s all shadowy, so for me, it’s okay, well, whatever, shrug. 

But if three different experts in the field certify this kid a girl, then I suppose I have to concede that it’s possible that they’re right. 

So…

While I can’t yet personally verify that this girl is a girl, I can tell you that our poll, Is This Kid is a Girl, Seriously Now, Don’t Mess with Our Heads has a much lower margin of error than it has had.

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What if the song on B-17 was…

Please Mister Please?

(jarring dramatic chord)